Look a talking muffin - Joke

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"

when your wife's staggering - Joke

Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.

Why did the fish get kicked out of school? - Joke

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.

Left nut say to the right nut - Joke

What did the left nut say to the right nut?
The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard!

Good bad and very bad. - Joke

Good: Your wife doesn't talk to you.
Bad: She wants divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.

What Bill Gates' wife says him when they make love? - Joke

What Bill Gates' wife says him when they make love?
Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.

Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer? - Joke

Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?
Because the grass tickles their balls!

honors student. - Joke

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

Why didn't the sailors play cards? - Joke

Why didn't the sailors play cards?
Because the captain was sitting on the deck.

All is a shitting - Joke

All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.