Help

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Not a temple

A boy said to a girl:-"Come in my heart and stay here forever".
Girl replied:-"Should i remove my sleepers???"
boy,"No honey, its not a temple , come without removing!!!!!"

Faithful

A men goes to sell his dog..
Buyer asked him,"Is your dog Faithful"???
He replied, "Yes ,very much,I sold him three times ,but it returns to me back"!!!!

neighbor

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

Exams

A hot girl come into professor's cabin..
girl: I'll anything to pass the Exams.
Professor: Anything??
Girl: Yes..
Professor: Anything??
Girl: yeah!!!
Professor: Then study Hard , dear!!!

dirty joke

A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.

good news and some bad news

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

I'm a horse

Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

Is it mine

What does a blonde say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant.
Is it mine?

How do you make a blonde laugh

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?
Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.

When I stand on my head

A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this?
B: It's because your feet aren't empty.

If your neck leaks

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

park in the handicapped spots

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicapped spots.

Look a talking muffin - Joke

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"

when your wife's staggering - Joke

Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.