What does a blonde say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant.
Is it mine?
Monday, March 16, 2009
How do you make a blonde laugh
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?
Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.
Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.
When I stand on my head
A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this?
B: It's because your feet aren't empty.
B: It's because your feet aren't empty.
If your neck leaks
Patient: Doctor, I think that I've bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
If we didn't have a schedule?
Said to a railroad engineer:
What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The reply from the railroad engineer:
How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The reply from the railroad engineer:
How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
park in the handicapped spots
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicapped spots.
You can park in the handicapped spots.
Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde
What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot.
There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot.
The person who wins
A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?
that was yesterday
A: Look at your face I know what you had for breakfast
B: What was it?
A: Eggs.
B: No, that was yesterday.
B: What was it?
A: Eggs.
B: No, that was yesterday.
To write the other 5
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Homework
PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven’t done my homework."
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven’t done my homework."
Wrong number
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
Elephant is dead
A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.
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